Michael anthony churchill

..You are my life..and without you I will forever be empty..You was not only my son but best friend..I told you everything..You never let me down and was Always there for me...I remember so many many good memories with you.I miss the football games with you..Sitting there in the frezzing cold, with mittens and hats on..All by myself but sometimes with Justin tagging along..I was so proud as youd run down that field and than (( Touch down )). :D, years after years of baseball games ..I never missed one i dont think...Watching you get your belts in karate..haveing you come in and do the 5 swords on me..loool. but never hurting me..Just playing..Or the hours of video games,..I remember fishing with you...remember I threw that big salmon back cause I saw him gasping for air..everyone though I was crazy...I remember taking the 4 wheeller with you and mudding it down the tote road when we wasnt suppose to..We had a blast though..lool. or when we went blueberrying and you sat on the hornets nest and about 300 hornets chased us and bit your ass....I remember mothers day one year, when everyone forgot me.you went and stole me all those flowers. and made me a home made card..I still have it.but I know you see me..I remember your smile,..you loved everyone.You acted so tough and you had the biggest heart I have ever seen in a person..7 years ago today, Id be laying in your bed with you right now..holding you one last time..... I remember as I looked around that room and it was just you and me and the doctors, when I told you ,you could go to god..but also begged you to stay......I remember the levender smell in the hospital, i remember the light that flickered......... I guess when I told you you could go to god, You did....and when I begged you to stay.You did as well...You stayed in my heart.my soul.......I love you buddy.....always..

I will Hold you in my heart till the day I die.and we can be reunited again....My angel in heaven but was also my angel on earth...Ill suck it up, head up and make you proud like you always did me...You know Moms suppose to watch over You,not the other way around....<3

There still is'nt a day that goes by that i don't think about you cuz. i love you, and i miss you and i hope you're in a better place right now. so gues what i had a baby cuz and i wish you were here to see him because i wish he could know you. I'm thinking about asking my girlfriend to merry me so i hope she says yes if i decide to ask haha. i'd be lieing if i said i didn't cry about you but im sure you wouldnt want me to. i love you cuz. Well i gues if you believe that you can see the people you love when you die then ill see you soon cuz i love you so much.pce.

Mikey Your birthday is this week..they say it gets easier,it dont buddy..not a day goes by that i dont wish i was with You...and if i could trade places with You, i would in a heart beat...or be with You..and if thats wrong oh well..than im wrong.cause myheart is definitely there with you..im so sorry i backed out. i chickend out.and i have to live with that for the rest of my life..noone can ever know how this one broken promise to you has killed me inside. how can i go on when i promised You id always be there...i miss You mikey...my buddy....

Cuz i know we wernt the closet but i love u and miss u every sec. hope your watchen me i love u

mikey it is almost time. But it cant be so. How can it be almost two years when i sit here each night and day and wait for you to come back. I sit here and wait for the door to open. I get mad because i am so lost without you.it isnt fair and it doesnt get any easier.I  replay your words over and over in my mind. As i replay mine. My words which i went back on. Forgive me...Mommy loves you.and if i could you know , i would be there in a second buddy....I love you

YOUR 22ND BIRTHDAY


Today, 22 years ago today. I gave birth to You.My baby boy.I held you in my arms so tight. Your blue eyes and blonde hair. You looked up with those eyes, with so much love. Looking atthe woman who was to protect you all you r life. My baby boy.... You grew so fast.In every way possible though. It was such a fast life for you.I remember after your baths when you was born. I would always use johnsons and johnsons and that baby smell. Oh as I picked you up and cradled you with your blanket wrapped around you. You would smell so nice. not that you didnt alwasy smell nice. because You alwasy had to look good and smell good for the ladies.lol...  Its funny i can almost smell it now...i wish I could put my arms around you and just smell once more...I wish I could just once more, cause I would hold you so damn tight and not let you go..never ever. I would hold you tight... I came to you r stone three times today, I imagine I will be back there.I didnt know what color balloons.It wasnt fair....I know you and everyone up there in heaven, You are celebrating,,and always smile baby..Always smile for your mom okay...

My memories today. I am sitting here stareing at the wall with your pictures. A year and a half ago ,a little longer. You was suppose to walk through this door.I don tknow why but today it is so hard.I am sitting here waiting for the door to open yet I know you wont be comming through. And I know it makes you sad to see me cry.But I am okay.I need you to be happy and free in heaven.Noone can hurt you there baby. They say to those in heaven it will only seem like seconds before your reuinited with your loved ones. for us it feels like an eternity.I am such in a loss for all  you boys.after you left it is like everyone left. Jeremy,Steven,Keith,Robbie,.. all went with you to heaven. It is hard to have all of you boys that I love gone.None of you are alone though, Your all together.And I pray your all safe from harm and pain.I pray god is embraceing you all like i should be doing.... Your birthday is this week baby. I will be there with you..

It was my birthday yesturday, I didnt come see you though like I should have. But I knew what would happen if I did. I felt you here when I was sitting out back by myself cying. I could feel you and it just made me want You  more..... They say for me to stop, and not to be sad each moment of the day,and I cant. I dont want to.How can I live when Your not here. I sit here each night by myself,for at least 8 hours. I keep the lights off. but the computer screen reflects your pictures hanging on my wall. I sit here and cry. but you see me... it isnt fair, and I need you so much. Isnt that selfish.I need you when I couldnt even be there for you.I am so sorry I couldnt take your pain away.I am so sorry I did not protect you, I am so sorry your life was so sad.I am sorry it was you and not me. I was alwasy at all your games.football,baseball,wrestling, all by myself. i went to everyone buddy.Once in a while someone would go with me,and they use to say to me, You dont have to go to every one. But I did have to.I remember seeing your eyes, they always looked up and saw me sitting on the side.Proudly sreaming your name as you made a touch down or got a home run. and now,because of me you are gone...I dont think I can do it any more. be strong i mean..and right after you, 5 of your friends go with you. I get sick.It hurts to say Iknow your not alone now...but you shouldnt be anyways. you should be with me or i should  be with you. I promised You..... Your birthday is comming up in a couple weeks. August 6th... I will come see you .I love you buddy...

i remember you walking through the door and telling me you loved me. now i am without you. Now Stephen is there with you. Your girl friends little brother, Iknow he is in good hands. it doesnt make it any better but i know you will not let him do this journey alone .i did your cemetary the other day. i know you dont like the flowers but did i ever do anything you wanted me to. heehee... i love you so much buddy,ihold you close to my heart everyday in my locket. summer is almost here. your favorite season.