It was my birthday yesturday, I didnt come see you though like I should have. But I knew what would happen if I did. I felt you here when I was sitting out back by myself cying. I could feel you and it just made me want You more..... They say for me to stop, and not to be sad each moment of the day,and I cant. I dont want to.How can I live when Your not here. I sit here each night by myself,for at least 8 hours. I keep the lights off. but the computer screen reflects your pictures hanging on my wall. I sit here and cry. but you see me... it isnt fair, and I need you so much. Isnt that selfish.I need you when I couldnt even be there for you.I am so sorry I couldnt take your pain away.I am so sorry I did not protect you, I am so sorry your life was so sad.I am sorry it was you and not me. I was alwasy at all your games.football,baseball,wrestling, all by myself. i went to everyone buddy.Once in a while someone would go with me,and they use to say to me, You dont have to go to every one. But I did have to.I remember seeing your eyes, they always looked up and saw me sitting on the side.Proudly sreaming your name as you made a touch down or got a home run. and now,because of me you are gone...I dont think I can do it any more. be strong i mean..and right after you, 5 of your friends go with you. I get sick.It hurts to say Iknow your not alone now...but you shouldnt be anyways. you should be with me or i should be with you. I promised You..... Your birthday is comming up in a couple weeks. August 6th... I will come see you .I love you buddy...